Finally feeling like me again

After so long of not feeling like me, finally I feel like I'm back. First it was the pregnancy stuff, not being able to do anything at all, even washing myself just destroyed my whole self-esteem and I sort of lost all respect for myself for not being able to successfully do something as natural as pregnancy and childbirth. Then came all the issues with L's feeding, the reflux, allergies, changing her milk and meds every 5 mins, and all the normal 'problems' you have with a newborn not sleeping during the night. It's not surprising I developed PND and lost all motivation to even try to loose weight.

L's been sleeping from 6.30/7pm through to 6.30/7am for the past couple of weeks, with only a couple of exceptions, which is brilliant. She's been in a milk feeding routine since she was 6 weeks old but with weaning I felt at a complete loss and it was all erratic, since I started following gina ford's weaning book is when she started sleeping.

So now with L sleeping, I'm sleeping, I've cut down on how much we're out during the day as well, we were having some weeks when we'd have just one day at home together, it's lovely going out and seeing people and having a life but it is nice just to have a couple of days playing with L and getting chores done. I'm not feeling as manic about things, when I feel really bad I either want everything done to the n'th degree or I don't care at all, feel like I've reached a happy medium now.

I finally feel like I've had a knock on the head and have got back on plan 100% since Wednesday, yesterday was the first day I had all my syns - I had a hungry day, and today we've set up the wii fit again :)

Apart from walking I've done no exercise since I gave up aquanatal in October last year. Felt really good to get a bit of a sweat on, I had to be careful doing it with my dodgy back (and it's bloody aching now) but I feel like I've taken control of my life again.

I know what I want, I know how to achieve it, G's on side, I'm desperate for L to grow up with a healthy attitude towards food and fingers crossed I can keep it up